Wednesday, August 31, 2011

General Advice on Driving Sense: Dedicated to all SICK, DUMB, DEAF & DEAD RASHERS!

Sitting there while I observe/I like your lines I love your curves/Checking out your bodywork/How can I get with her,/Your the one that I want/Do anything to turn you on/Somebody please just pass the keys so you can take a ride with me/I'm on a mission/First thing disarming your system/Next thing slip the key in the ignition/Just listen/To the way that you purr at me you know you prefer the speed/When your back starts dipping/Wheel spinning when the gears start shifting/I'm sticking till the turbo kicks in/You know that I'm missing/Got me moving so fast you got me missing the flash/Fast cars/Fast women/Speed bikes with the nitro in them/Dangerous when driven/Those are the type that I be feeling/Feel the ride feel the rush/The moment I tease your clutch/Reacting to my every touch/Were shifting down or tearing up/I don't care where we go/To burn you out's the end result/You're dealing with a professional/I'll spin your round just to let you know/I'm on a mission/First thing disarming your system/Next thing slip the key in the ignition/Just listen/To the way that you purr at me you know your as perverse as me/When your back starts dipping/And I'm unaware of the limits I'm hitting/Blurred vision in a critical condition/Could blow the transmission/Got me moving so fast you got me missing the flash/Fast cars/Fast women/Speed bikes with the nitro in them/Dangerous when driven/Those are the type that I be feeling/Body like a race car/You got the curves like Jaguar/Acceleration like a Yamaha/I like the way you perform when I'm turning you on/Feel it when I revving you/Smoother than a Daimler/You handle like a Lancia/I like the way you perform when I’m turning you on/Fast cars/Fast women/Speed bikes with the nitro in them/Dangerous when driven/Those are the type that I be feeling
Red light and red light area both mean “stop/don’t cross”: If you are a real HERO, don’t get carried by these mean warnings, be bold and courageous to jump and show the world around you can do it. More you jump more you can prove yourself to self and people around. Go on. Don’t worry, every person need not be decent and disciplined. Form your own rule books. After all we are a developing country comprising of all adults and no kids. We don’t need monitors and policing around. By stopping at a red light we can not make a mockery of ourselves. Let the others take care about themselves. Go, go and go, be it RED, ORANGE or GREEN. Consider yourself a BULL and get provoked and (mentally) challenged by a red light, jump it.
Babuji dheere chalna: Who is the fool who has set speed limits and that too without consulting us? How can somebody insult me and my Heroism by limiting me to a speed of his choice? Who says that I must drive slow? Let me set my own limits and prove myself. Driving sense and sensible driving: what a non-sense! That I have to respect a system or some set of rules. Why should I sense the sense of others and be sensible. Road is not a racing track: Do you think so? I don’t, as I feel that the all roads can be treated as racing tracks. Why some fools go to participate in races on racing tracks? I race every where on every road and always win! See the trophies and medals around in the form of the cars/bikes/people I hit around and run away. After all I am the best racer.
Honking a Horn means insult in Thailand: Driver usually doesn’t horn in Thailand as it is taken as insult for the person for whom it is honked. But then we are more educated, more intelligent and having better standards of living. And horn is always meant to be used otherwise why it is there. It is always better to keep using it every now and then to prove – that you are a music lover, you keep testing horn and you keep entertaining others.
Drink and Drive: Driving is more enjoyable after drinks (atleast two! To start with – more means more stamina more (non)sense). And drinking while driving is the ultimate, try it.
Celebrities and Driving: Learn some lessons from Celebrities, drive rash, crush some people sleeping on the pavement, hit a child crossing a road, afterall I have all rights to show my emotions, anger and heart-breaks.
Ads and Driving: Park your car as shown in the Ad, between the two cars, with a zip drive. Lesser the space to park more is the chance to show your talent.
Movies and Driving: Hey, Learn driving from movies, see how fast they drive, how beautifully they fall down from a hill or bump into a tree and loose their life and memory, how interesting
Hit and Run: Suppose you are driving within YOUR LIMITS, taking all lanes into consideration and having full access rights to move to any lane any time and some fool comes in front of you and gets hit by his own mistake, don’t hesitate to run away, as there is no need to stop and argue. Already there are lot of arguments taking place in this country, don’t waste your time. Your time is more precious than the damage done to anybody.
Chasing What?: Although I keep chasing sometimes the cars ahead and sometimes to find out the end of the road, I have never understood what and why but still I enjoy chasing, driving at high, higher, highest speed.
Mobile phone and Driving: One must love talking over the mobile while driving, as that is the best way of getting attention of passing by vehicles, vehicles honking at your back for a side, vehicles honking to alert you about your inattentive drive, vehicles alerting you of your unawareness that you are in the right most lane with speed deteriorating with the increase in your talk time. Don’t worry about anything, keep talking even if you get hit by somebody, after all your clones are present on this earth who are equally adventurous.
The Dark Windows: Although it is illegal to have dark filmed windows, don’t worry, this is my India, law are Police are two different sides of a coin, both unaware about each other. No body is going to catch you and people will be curious about who is the animal behind those dark windows. Moreover even if you hit your neighbor, he will not be able to see your face and you will be as safe as always. After all your acts already say that you can’t show your face on this earth and are supposed to hide it everywhere you go. But wouldn’t it be better if you mask your face rather than spending so much on getting dark film on your car windows.
License to kill: you belong to a democratic country in real sense. You have all rights to crush, hit, damage anything, anybody. But do you have a family? And why they have to suffer because of your (mis)deeds.
Rich Dad Poor Son (or Daughter): The black money Dad has no shortage of money to spend on its kin and their stupid accidents. If you are one of those kin feel free to drive rash, hit anyone, drink and drive, enjoy your life to its fullest. Live Life King Size. But someday when you are not in a position to earn a single penny and the Rich Dad has become Poor Dad, what will happen? Atleast don’t pass on this genes to your kids.
Indicators & Indications: No, don’t use them, they are for the un-expert drivers. High Beams, Sharp cuts, high speed is all for you.
Speed: Fulfill your desire, let there be fire. Kal ho na ho

No comments:

Post a Comment